First of all, I may step on some toes her, but I don't feel the need to apologize.

Is it me or more often than not do a lot wives have a bug up their ass about one thing or another? Obviously it's stressful being a military wife, but it's more stressful in my opinion to be shot at, but I digress. It seems that a lot of wives around base feel this sense of entitlement or superiority just because they're a military wife. And yes that does make you strong, but let me pose a simple question. Don't you bleed red like everyone else? Do your bones not break? What makes you so special that you feel the need to belittle your fellow wives or even civilians over petty crap? Is it that kindergarten mentality of shoes and hair making up who you are? I call bullshit. Looks amount to nothing if there isn't a brain and good dose of goodness behind them. A giant piece of humble pie is what a lot of you wives desperately need. Your HUSBAND's rank doesn't make YOU better, the clothes you wear and the car you drive are things that can be lost in a day. They mean absolutely nothing in the long run, so why don't you stop basing what you are on what you think you own?

It's pathetic when I see strong women whining over absolute absurdities like, "Oh, my hubby didn't buy me this or that, WOE AS MEEEE!" or "Oh no, I can't get my hair done today, my life is completely over!" Take a minute and just think about this, seriously. Are you really so dense that you cannot see the bigger picture? We're called to be strong, maintain a good home and just be good people; To present ourselves according to the code of honor that our husbands fight and often die to protect, where in that statement does it say to be a bitch or to treat others poorly? That's right, nowhere. Whether you agree or not, I couldn't care less but it's about time that people starting seeing the bigger picture.

And this brings me to another point; where in the world can I find someone on this base that is genuine and truly open? I've seen more backstabbing and subversive childish nonsense here than I ever did in the civilian world and once again, this comes back to the honor bound oath you took when you married both your husband and the military. Did that oath include putting down someone who is heavier or a little odd? Did that include being a complete cat over the simplest of things? And did that include making your husband suffer because you're plain miserable with who you are deep down? Don't get me wrong, absolutely no one is perfect but that doesn't mean that you can't be nice. That doesn't mean that you're automatically allowed to belittle and judge when you haven't walked a mile in their shoes. For the love of God, seriously, can you at least try to enjoy your life while not making everyone around you miserable?
The heart and soul of a community? Perhaps, but some wives make it into a festering wound of butthurt and infection that no one else wants to be a part of. Get off your highhorse, ladies. You're sense of entitlement is false and your delusions are beginning to show. 

Welcome to Camp Pendleton, the caddy child's play of most (not all) wives is why I do not live on base. Then again this false sense of entitlement is not just among military wives, but among this new generation. When I was teaching high school and college, kids at 17/18 (seniors in 07/freshman in college) had the same entitlement perspective. So it's something I am use too, however there is a world of a difference from those of us who graduated in 2001/2002 than the newer generations. The work ethic is gone as well as many morals.

I am not saying this is for all younger marine wives by any means, but it is something I have noticed with marines, marine wives as well as civilians. 

And I will also be the first to say that it certainly isn't all wives. But some I see, I am absolutely amazing at the ridiculousness that they come up with.

You are right about the younger generation, which makes me ashamed of my own as I've said for years. It's just sad to see so much wasted potential.

I thank God my mother raised me the way she did for these very reasons. 

Thank you! I've never understood this myself, probably never will. 

I agree. Too many children pretending to be "grown". Kinda sad really. 

What's this honor bound oath you speak of? 

The honor bound oath of not only marriage but in the true spirit of things being a person of upstanding integrity. Go to many wives and they'll tell you that's what should be done. They preach it, but don't do it. The military is honor based at it's very core. As example, "I've got your back, dude" when buddies are being shot at, and that word is kept at all times above all else. If our husbands do it without even thinking, what's so hard for us wives doing even half as much in the way of following through or just not being a complete bitch. It's about not only watching out for each other, it's about just being an honorable person who is worth a damn to society.

I state once again, the materialism is absolute nonsense. We're supposed to stick together and support each other. And yet, that's impossible for a lot of people to even fathom, thinking of others before themselves. 

No offense Kazzle, but aren't you being a bit high and mighty yourself? Simply in the opposite fashion? Instead of being so obsessed with yourself as you assume so many wives are, you speak down upon other military wives, who you deem lesser than yourself. Perhaps that woman on this forum who complains about not getting her hair done has four kids, and no time to herself. Maybe the only time she gets to just breathe, is when she goes to the salon. Maybe it's what keeps her from breaking down, but you don't know because you don't ask, "And [you] don't care." You are too busy judging others to see that you are standing on your very own pedestal.

While I do agree that there are many shallow spouses at CP that may be less than desirable friends, I also don't think that you coming on here and typing all that out really makes any difference, nor does it prove anything about you other than that you are also shallow to a degree. You are too shallow to get to know any other women here because you are too guarded and dismiss many military wives as "caddy bitches." Maybe you would find some decent friends if you would simply let your guard down a little and just accept people for who they are.



... You sound like a new military wife. Just saying. Once you have been around a while, you won't let these things bother you so much. If you don't like a person, then don't be around them. There is no reason to get so upset about it. 

It isn't just the spouses who have this sense of entitlement, the guys do too. It is just the new generation all around, where we are we have both Marines and their spouses who have this "I'm better than you, I can do no wrong" attitude, and yes it is the younger generation. I actually find it pretty sad, and just think that hopefully they will grow out of it, most wont but it doesn't hurt to hope. 

And Happy Easter to you too!!! 

... You sound like a new military wife. Just saying. Once you have been around a while, you won't let these things bother you so much. If you don't like a person, then don't be around them. There is no reason to get so upset about it. 

This ^^ ;) 

No offense Kazzle, but aren't you being a bit high and mighty yourself? Simply in the opposite fashion? Instead of being so obsessed with yourself as you assume so many wives are, you speak down upon other military wives, who you deem lesser than yourself. Perhaps that woman on this forum who complains about not getting her hair done has four kids, and no time to herself. Maybe the only time she gets to just breathe, is when she goes to the salon. Maybe it's what keeps her from breaking down, but you don't know because you don't ask, "And [you] don't care." You are too busy judging others to see that you are standing on your very own pedestal. Really? My pedestal really is null. I try to humble myself daily because I realize I'm not better than anyone. It's a hard lesson to learn, absolutely. The entire post though is just utter frustration that some others haven't gotten to that point yet. If I come off as arrogant I do apologize, that wasn't what I was trying to convey at all. It was just a half-hearted attempt at a rant. But the point comes back down to the sense of entitlement again. Yes, it's not just wives, but just once I'd like to see someone who's willing to openly admit that they can do wrong, that they aren't perfect and be open about it. I'm not saying flaunt flaws, but cut the pretentious crap.
And you pose another good point. Perhaps she may have 4 kids and perhaps she may not get much time, but that wasn't the type of wife I was referring to. I'm talking about the young wives who for some reason or another are just arrogant and it has no logical base whatsoever.

And once again, I'm sorry if it came off as arrogant, that's not how I meant it.

While I do agree that there are many shallow spouses at CP that may be less than desirable friends, I also don't think that you coming on here and typing all that out really makes any difference, nor does it prove anything about you other than that you are also shallow to a degree. You are too shallow to get to know any other women here because you are too guarded and dismiss many military wives as "caddy bitches." Maybe you would find some decent friends if you would simply let your guard down a little and just accept people for who they are.

And I will say this, I never once said it was all wives, but from what I've seen and heard, it actually is a real problem. I am well aware that a rant does nothing, I'm just frustrated with the whole thing and feel alienated from every wife I come into contact with because of it. I'm jaded and guarded yes, but at the same time, I've seen very few reasons why I shouldn't be. Yeah, that's a personal problem and it's being worked on, but the issue comes down to the fact that while I try to get to know other wives, a lot I meet make it feel like a complete waste of time. I've been out here 6 months and it just boggles my mind. I try to be friendly and I get not only shot down but laughed at for being nice. In what parallel universe does that even make sense?
Being nice and having a healthy sense of humor is a commodity you just don't much find here and that's what I was trying to convey. Once again, I'm sorry if I sounded high and mighty, I'm just to the point that it doesn't even seem worth it anymore. 

It doesn't seem worth it anymore, yet you make a looooooong drawn out post about it. LOL! 

i have been a marine wife since dec. 2009. i am on my first base. i have been here since june 2011. i have 2 friends on this whole base. and i dont get somethings that wives do that are just so petty. like start a rumor that my friend is sleep with my husband because he was there at her house helping her out with something. i guess that i am a newbie at this game. but my momma raised me not to talk bad about people. but i have it happen to me. im heavy set and i have people talk about me. and i do nothing but stay to myself. my sisters have made fun of me all my life for being fat. and i am tired of the crap. so if anyone has advice for me please share it. im all ears. 

I don't get it.
1. Most WOMEN are catty, plain and simple. It rarely has to do with being a military wife although that does give some of them the little bit of a title that they need to be catty.
2. I've seen woman that take care of themselves and those that don't. That will forever be a fight because people who dress up don't get people who never do and vice versa. Once again, REGARDLESS of military status.

I think you're trying to categorize a huge group that can't be unless you put it in simple terms.
Women are b's.
It's easier out in town to find ones you like because you're a human and humans tend to stick to their own. If you'd stop trying to find friends with the criteria of "military spouse," I am sure you'd have lots of friends who are as genuine as you think you are (I can't say you are, don't know you). 

People are people whether living civilians or military wives. I've met great individuals whether military or civilian.

The real problem is you appear to be caught up on others' behavior instead of focusing on your very own. When I meet an individual I don't gel with I keep it moving. When I meet an individual who I enjoy, I extend the opportunity to get to know one another better. Maybe it's my age or life experience, I just don't see a major difference between civilian versus military wives. 

Is it me or more often than not do a lot wives have a bug up their ass about one thing or another?

YES!! So true!!

... and obviously you do too, which further proves your point.

 

^^^ lol... notice they are black :)

Man I have the munchies... no I'm not high, just 7+ month pregnant and I want a Munchkin from D&D 

I made a vow to my husband, no one else and certainly not to his career and certainly not an honor bound oath.

I am a person who happens to be married.period.end.of.story.

I have my own moral compass and I don't need anyone telling me how to act or what to do.

The military does that for our spouses. As a spouse, we didn't sign on the dotted line and the only rules we need to abide by are those spelled out about conducting ourselves while aboard base. 

SOME wives fit this to a T!!
Just judgmental and backstabbing. I haven't moved to Pendleton yet but while we were at Lejeune..It was EXTREMELY hard to make friends.
I hope CP will be a bit easier once the time comes. 

I made a vow to my husband, no one else and certainly not to his career and certainly not an honor bound oath.

I am a person who happens to be married.period.end.of.story.

I have my own moral compass and I don't need anyone telling me how to act or what to do.

The military does that for our spouses. As a spouse, we didn't sign on the dotted line and the only rules we need to abide by are those spelled out about conducting ourselves while aboard base. 

This x100 

MKClark --- 6 min ago - quote - flag comment - hide comments
SOME wives fit this to a T!!  

It's women in general. I doubt that once they become a military spouse they all of a sudden turn into the type of person the OP is describing.

...if so I missed initiation. 

Most people think I am just a "B"when I don't to hang and make friends with other military wives. Truth is I don't get along with any I have ever met. The few I did get close with turned out to be backstabbing, a gossiper, and two faced. A lot of times they would be very jealous of my husband and I so I could never talk about if my husband got a day off or anything about his work. It was almost a competition to her on who's husband was better and had the better life. I don't think it's women in general because back home I have some good down to earth friendly girls that are simply amazing and I miss them to death. 

Not a single one of my friends is a Marine spouse. I don't acquaint myself with them anymore because one posted online that I'm "just another female Marine b**** and a bad example for the younger wives." I'm these things because I'm divorced (the marriage was abusive; he spent time in the brig b/c of it) and remarried. Apparently divorcing and not sticking by my first husband made me a bad example. Having that stuff said about me really turned me away from trying to befriend anyone else. She went around telling people not to talk to me or invite me places and posted on facebook wondering who the real father of my child was. I'm 26 years old, not 16 and I don't need the bull**** So I stick to my friends from when I was a Marine and my newer law school buddies. If you don't like the bull****, just walk away and ignore it. It's easy.

I'll add that to classify an entire group of people would be wrong, however our experiences cause us to gravitate towards or away from certain things or people. I've met some wonderful young women that are Marine spouses and I've met some really shitty people that have no affiliation with the military. 

There are shitty people in every profession, state, county, and in every country around the world.

Get over it, move on, and worry about yourself. 

It has nothing to do with military wives, there are people like that within ANY group of women. It doesn't help that military wives tend to be overall on the younger side since the Marine Corps itself tends to be bottom-heavy. IME it's not that difficult to just choose to not associate with people like that.

As far as some of the other stuff you said... I only said a vow to my husband. I grew up in the military but I fell in love with a man who intended to be a commodities broker. A couple years later after we had already gone to college together he felt called to join the military. I didn't stop loving him because his choice of occupation changed, and I certainly did not change who *I* am because of it. 

Personally, I don't see why women (or men) define themselves by their spouses occupation. 

"^^^ lol... notice they are black :)"

What does the color of the pot & kettle have to do with the thread? 

I guess she meant that in reference to the saying "pot calling the kettle black." 

^ That is what I assumed since that is the saying the picture posted was based on.