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Rant about Parents and Kids

who's talking here?

sweetcheeks 1
laneys mommy 1
YouReallyThinkSo 1
HereAgain 1
GardenWitch 3
Maleficent 3
Clinical Depression 1
Champ 1
AnniRay 4

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AnniRay --- 9 years ago -

When I moved onto base I half expected military kids to be like they are in the movies....controlled by an iron fist and show respect and nobility, ha! Yeah, I guess kids will always be kids but what really gets me is the parents. They are constantly pointing fingers at each other accusing other moms and dads for not controlling their kids and then they top it with, "granted my children aren't perfect either but..." then they'll make excuses that they aren't around to watch them or they have a disability and so on. Well...hello? Don't you think these other parents are in the same boat as you? Perhaps...let's just think for a minute...that maybe we are all in this together. I think the main problem with problem kids is that they see their parents constantly acting like children stupidly pointing fingers at each other rather than working things out like adults.
Yeah...pissy bi**h also acting childish here ending her rant in 3...2...1 

sweetcheeks --- 9 years ago -

Well ok then lol 

Maleficent --- 9 years ago -

Disabilities are excuses... roger. Next time I see a kid drooling on himself uncontrollably in his wheelchair Ill be sure to remind his mother she needs to control him better and not make excuses for him. 

Champ --- 9 years ago -

Guess I don't fall into cat a or b. My kids are perfect. What? 

GardenWitch --- 9 years ago -

Maleficent, You know that's not what was meant.

I totally get not every child can control their behavior, I raised my own demon child (I say that lovingly but I swear some days, she was possessed by an alien being) and even she knew better than to pitch a tantrum on the floor at the commissary or anywhere for that matter. Because when she did lose it, we'd leave. Why should my little demon ruin everyone else's day?

There's so much of the "if you don't stop, you'll get a time out"....but they never put the kid in a time out. Or "don't make me count to three". But they never get past 1 3/4, and the kid is still acting up. No consistent discipline. No manners. No respect for anyone or anything. No consequences. All this leads to just plain bratty, out of control kids.

Even the doctors say many kids being treated for several common disabilities like ADD/ADHD don't even have them (which is why the meds don't work) 

AnniRay --- 9 years ago -

I meant with disabilities like I could make excuses for my son that he has a hard time controlling his temper as much as he wants to be good, his speech and comprehension flaws makes him so frustrated he gets violently angry. I have parents and kids whining to me about my son and I could easily makes excuses but i'm not going to. That's not going to help anything and it's none of their business. of course, I nearly slapped a neighbor's daughter on the side of the head for openly making fun of my son's face turning red because he was mad. Then I thought to yell at the girl's mom for her to be like that, but that wouldn't have done any good either. I was too angry to do anything at the moment except bring my son in and quietly talk out the problem. But I've seen worse...way worse of adults acting like adolescent idiots, talking about other neighbor kids saying they hated them and hated their parents and could never...oh my goodness...EVER compare themselves with THEM! 

AnniRay --- 9 years ago -

Ok, I just read over my own comment and am laughing at myself. Talk about not doing any good, right? 

Maleficent --- 9 years ago -

No, I do get it, I was being facetious. But at the same time there are people whose children really do have problems that even drawing lines in the sand don't help. My daughter is a good example. She is disciplined and behaves for the most part with exception of certain times in which case she gets pulled inside or whatever to keep away from others. At the same time though she has communication issues as well because of her disability and people think she is rude because of some of the things she says or how she says them when she isn't being rude, it's just how she talks. Then there are her sensory issues where when she was smaller she would just scream and throw a fit because there was too much going on around her. There really are legitimate times when it's not an excuse that's being thrown around, it's really a reason a child is a certain way. 

GardenWitch --- 9 years ago -

I learned to just ignore a lot of people, adults and kids. Kids can be mean, they see a weakness in another child they will pick up on it. It's up to the parent to teach their child that is wrong and hurtful, to teach the child compassion. Most nowadays won't bother or "don't see any problem" with their child's behavior.

I cannot stand 99.99999999% of military kids. Seriously. I haven't seen a meltdown on aisle 3 in the grocery store or a temper tantrum at a restaurant since we moved to Temecula! It's not the kids fault either, barring genuine disability, it's the parents fault.

Maybe it has something to do with the differences in socioeconomic status, maturity etc. (I know older officers kids that behave like monsters though so that isn't it) But between on base living and off base living over many years, I have seen a distinct difference in behavior. It's one of the reasons we preferred to live off base while the kids were growing up. 

Maleficent --- 9 years ago -

That reminds me of all the people who dont want to go to school with the civilian kids. Lol like, several people I have talked to are considering home schooling because one of the base schools has civilian kids at it. My mom, a Navy brat, was like "when we were kids the civilians were trying to keep their kids away from the military kids!" lol I hate all children. Well, most. I like mine and a most of my friends. There's a reason Im not a preschool teacher anymore though. 

GardenWitch --- 9 years ago -

My kids loved attending school with civilian kids. It was as close to a normal life as we could get.

Plus in a place like Swansboro NC or Bluffton SC, even if you move away for 4 years, when you come back most of the kids old friends are still there, or they go off to college together. ;-) 

YouReallyThinkSo --- 9 years ago -

We've lived on base and not in military towns and the children are the same everywhere. I see melt downs by children all the time at the mall in Temecula, Sams club in Murrieta, and at the commissary. And I will admit my middle child is my hard headed one. My oldest and youngest are great, no fits while at the store, no pulling things off the shelves but my middle child on the other hand at times will scream, will grabs things and throw them on the floor but he is punished for them. But while he is throwing the fit he is looking for attention so most of the time I try to ignore him but not always. It just depends on what is happening at the time. I have raised my children the same, same punishments, same lessons but it doesnt matter. All kids are different. And Im not going to leave the commissary cause my child is misbehaving. Our life is busy and when I do get the chance to go grocery shopping we are there to get what we got to get and get out. I dont get out much without my kids but when I do I really enjoy grocery shopping, its so peaceful, lol. Kids will be kids all you can do is do your best as a parent to show them whats right. 

Clinical Depression --- 9 years ago -

But, I think there's a difference in seeing what your child is doing and trying to correct their behavior vs turning your back and letting it happen. If you have a child with a disability do you go and assist them or neglect them? 

HereAgain --- 9 years ago -

I try my hardest not to judge other kids and their parents but sometimes it's hard, lol. I just try to remind myself that I don't know what they are going through especially kids on or near base. They have to deal with their parent or parents being gone for long periods of time and all kinds of stuff we are all too familiar with. On the other hand there are those kids that you just know are trouble and parents that let their kids miss behave, those are the ones that bother me. I'm very far from any military base or town and I have seen some crazy tantrums. when I go out I try to have my kids fed and rested and they are less likely to throw tantrums and such. I've been know to put my boy in time out in the middle of a store haha, I just stand there and make him sit at my feet. I've gotten plenty of "what the heck are you doing" looks but it works better than when I put him on time out at home. 

laneys mommy --- 9 years ago -

I think people should keep walking along and stop judging everyone else. Cause I'm sure the one judging is simply totally perfect. In reality they have not an ounce of knowledge as to others situations. Unless you've walked in their shoes it's just idiotic to make assumptions. 

AnniRay --- 9 years ago -

i'm with you HereAgain. It is hard not to judge. I used to be in the class when I see a child in a tantrum and the mother is standing there screaming back at him/ thoughts were it's the parents' fault. Now that I have children I wish I could go back to each and every person I judged and beg on my knees for them to forgive me for thinking so horribly of them. Parenting is damn hard, and I need to remind myself of that when someone else's kid is treating mine badly, it might not be entirely their fault. We all have a free will, we all have room to grow and learn, and that goes for both adults and their kids.
My son regularly throws fits in public, especially at the stores. If I have to say no once then he's lost it. It's sad, but it's gotten so bad I can't go without another adult helping me. Sure, he would stop screaming if I just give in, but I'm not that type of parent. Then come the judgmental heads shaking, and then people that don't want to get involved so they turn the other way and pretend there isn't a kid piercing their ears with his screams, and then there are the people I really love...."hang in there, mommy, you got this", "I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes through that", "I'm impressed you didn't give in. Good girl!"...A kind word goes so much farther than just ignoring it. If anything is helping my son, it's the people behind his mother supporting her. 

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