What do you do all day to keep busy? I'm new to this stay at home thing, I have a 6 week old baby...

Also, what do you do when your spouse is deployed or in the field and doesnt come home for days, weeks, months on end...? 

i don't have kids so i have plenty of time on my own when my husband is at work i just clean and work out . when he leaves to the field i go visit my mom good thing to have family in cali 

This is a really good question because I am active duty with a deployed husband and a 1 year old and I have always wondered what stay at home mothers do to keep busy. Wait! I am not bashing, but when I was home for the 6 weeks after having my daughter I was bored and lonely and as stated that was just 6 weeks. I could not wait to get back to work. So I would like to know how you keep yourself busy because if my husband picks up on this next round I am considering going back to school and being a stay at home mom. Again, not judging so spare me your rude comments, I am really asking the question to wiegh the pros and cons. 

I have to wonder if SAHMs who are bored are perhaps not choosing to provide their children with the developmentally appropriate learning that should begin at birth. When I wasn't meeting the basic needs of my children or the needs of my house, I was helping my children learn in every facet of their development based on the education I have obtained for myself regarding child development.

In addition I volunteered when I was able. It wasn't about trying to fill time and not be bored, however. I did it because I feel that it is important to help others and I wanted my children to be exposed to that. 

So my kind of topic. We got married and had a 2 year old. I had worked so it was really boring the first year, I took her to every play group possible. Got pregnant with my second and than she started preschool and dance. So that kept me busy with a deployed husband and keeping up with house. Than 3rd one comes and older two both in school and sports. They went to two different schools and one had dance and baseball. Than it gets hard with Girl Scouts, dance, sports, helping them with homework. I find myself super busy. Now just had 4 th, 3 in school, youngest goes half day so that can get tricky with giving youngest naps. So now we are doing gymnastics, jui Jitsu and baseball starts. Plus homework, chores, and keeping my kids balanced. All while my husband can't help because his schedule. I feel I am lucky to stay home and I try and give my kids as many activities as they can handle and want. Really if I am going to stay home I need to keep busy or I go crazy. 

I sit on my couch and eat twinkles all day while watching my shows. 

I wonder the how moms that work have any time at all. I've always been a SAHM and this is a little run down of my schedule. I have 2.5 kids.

Shower/get ready usually 5am
Tidy up my bedroom and bathroom
Make breakfast
Get kids ready
Take care of dog
On therapy days we leave the house by 8:30am and are there until noon. On non therapy days we do school during this time, have an outing or go on a playdate.
Lunch (on the go)
Then we go to they gym until usually 2 pm
Do "school"
Start dinner/ bulk bake
Tidy up the back of the house
Do laundry
Bedtime routine
Kids sleep
Tidy up the front of the house
Go to bed usually 10pm

In addition to this I have to go grocery shopping, manage the finances, maintain the house, maintain the cars, do the yard work, and about a million other things. I cook from scratch, tend to the garden and manage to keep everything running with a husband who is never here. Trust me I wish I could work sometimes, that seems so much easier! 

Well said Nicole. I don't know how working moms do it. I don't know how I do it sometimes, but at least I have more time than working moms. 

I worked prior to life changes full time as a surg tech, and I will say it was easier to get things done. Even getting home at 7 pm when the hubs was deployed. The secret is... if you and your family are not in your house all day less time to get destroyed. :) I don't know about everyone else, but I spend a good bulk of my time cleaning up repeated little messes. From crumbs, spilled milk, toys, blankets and pillows dragged about, changing clothes and washing hands from playing outside extra bath from painting, oops left the bathroom door open- now my toddler played in the toilet water, floors soaked, tp shredded, she needs washed up and changed again. Its a never ending cycle add in some dr apts, homework, cooking a simple dinner, bedtime stories and my day is maxed. 

We don't have kids and I didn't work until about a month ago.
I would do all the cleaning, laundry, shopping (food and uniform stuff), took care of our two dogs and cat (walks, cleaning, training and vet stuff), housing stuff (i can fix more then my husband now), car stuff, bills, and cooking. Also planned any extened family get togethers. and i volunteered as a FRA, sold homemade decorated cakes, planned wife get togethers at my house and out in town so wives could meet new friends and get to know each other. And I also did a few online classes 

Once we started having children, there was no way I was ever going to work full time again. For me, it's just too hard to juggle everything. I am not happy staying home indefinetly. So I work part-time. Right now I am working in an office learning AP/AR, payroll, etc. I work 2-3 days a week as many hours as I want for each day. Even that schedule makes life crazy sometimes. I don't know how women who work full time do it.

After each child was born, I stayed home about a year with them. Cleaning, spending time with the new baby, organizing, running errands, and having play dates kept me busy. But after a while I was bored and couldn't wait to get back to work for a few hours a day. I wish I had used the time to take some classes (either at a comm college or online). Find something that interests you and start doing that. 

I'm so confused here. I know there is a thread on here that has several women stating that they work full time and explain how they do it. Maybe my situation is different because I only have one child and she is 7-years-old but not only do I go to school, I work pretty much full time, I coach my daughters soccer team and I make sure she gets extra work when she comes home from school. I cook dinner every night, I make lunches for her and I and my husband daily. She gets a 100% of my attention and her and I have a great relationship. I know that being a stay at home mother is difficult I've done it, but I know that being a full time worker and a full time student and full time mother and wife is very doable. I'm not saying anything negative about those who stay at home all I'm saying is that it is possible to work and be a great parent. 

Yes Raevred it is very doable. However, having only one child means you are not pulled in 2, 3, 4 or more different directions by your other children. I firmly believe I would be able to do a lot more if I wasn't so worn out from this very thing. And don't even get me started on the fact that my husband is stationed in Japan. I do it all. But in order to give my 3 girls the attention they need (and deserve) not attending school and working only part time is the only way for me to achieve that. I remember fondly our first was pretty much an only child until our second was born when she was 5. Bringing additional children into the mix changes everything lol. 

I'm sure having more children makes it difficult, but my best friend who has two children that also go to therapy who have time to see their biological father weekly. The mother not only works 40+ hours she babysits in her spare time. She also does community service to give back. Because of her, it gives me strength to know that I can work and have a happy marriage and a happy family. Those girls are more happy now then when she stayed home with them due to horrible medical issues. I know that having more kids means having more responsibility but I also know that someone can work full time and raise a happy family even if their husband is deployed and works 90+ hour weeks. All I'm saying is it is very much so possible. It doesn't matter how many children you have you can always love yourself at the same time of loving your family.... 

I have two children one of which requires many doctor, therapy etc appointments. My house stays very clean, laundry is done every day, I was going to school full time and had I felt like it I could have worked at minimum a part time job (I've done a full time job before but since moving out here I wanted to focus on school.) and I still found myself bored. I honestly dont know how women act like they don't have time to do anything especially keep their homes clean. 

I believe the thread you are referencing was more about how do you find the time for all the quality time with your husband and children once you start working full time. For many military families where the military member is gone often or working long hours, that is a big concern. I'm not worried about the dishes or whatever else more than I am concerned about the connection that my family has with each other. When you have multiple kids everything takes longer plus you add in the time it takes to deal with conflict between them. For example, my 3 kids mean that the time I spend doing homework with them each night is longer than with just one child. Now one of my kids is special needs and requires an hour+ of my devoted time each evening, but I still need to make separate additional time for my other two. That means when I am finally done and ready to start dinner, it is probably later than for you and it can be easy to let that take away from the time and connection your family has with one another. 

and I still found myself bored. I honestly dont know how women act like they don't have time to do anything especially keep their homes clean. 

Not only do I agree with this comment^^^^ All I was saying is that it is possible to work. Even using an example that not only does my best friend work over time weekly, that both of her children receive a tremendous amount of love from her. Her kids are happier now then when she stayed home with them. She has more than one child. All I was stating is that, it is more than possible to work part time, full time, or even go to school and still have a happy family. Isn't that what life is all about? Children feeling safe, happy, and loved? I may be wrong, I mean the several child development classes I've taken could just be wrong? All the famous theorist such as Freud and John B. Watson are incorrect. 

Does it matter if someone works or doesn't? I never understood. You know in the civilian world it is considered a luxury and a great thing to stay home with your kids, only in the military world do the women feel like they have something to prove by doing it all when their husband is gone, and frowned upon when a FAMILY (husband and wife) decide for the mother or father to stay home with the children.

All kids are completely different, all parents are completely different. I can say that I have shed way more tears of frustration staying home than I ever did when I was working outside the home 50+ hours (but I only had one kid at the time) My husband isn't ready for me to go back to work. We don't need the additional income right now, so we chose for me to stay home with my little hellions. 

I may be wrong, I mean the several child development classes I've taken could just be wrong? All the famous theorist such as Freud and John B. Watson are incorrect. 

I'm not sure if I upset you somehow, but it was not my intention and I apologize if I did. You may have misunderstood my post. I've also taken a lot of child development classes. I was only participating in a dialogue about the importance of making sure that one's duties not take away from the quality time with the family. In my example I brought up, I spend a lot more time on homework help than the average person. It is often a lengthy and involved process where my child cries and struggles. Even though it is important that I spend that time helping her, it is also important that I make sure I don't forget to make all the time I have with my children of great quality. It's not that it is hard, it's just sometimes much easier for some to get caught up in the list of things that need to be done and forget about the important of quality time. :-) 

Freud is a freak! :) 

Freud is a freak! :) 

I agree lol 

I'm sure having more children makes it difficult, but my best friend who has two children that also go to therapy who have time to see their biological father weekly. The mother not only works 40+ hours she babysits in her spare time. She also does community service to give back. Because of her,

You say it's more difficult but I truly don't think you quite understand just how much more work, stress, and juggling it takes. I can talk about my best friend too. She has 6 kids. Goes to school full-time, is a girl scout leader, and is very involved in their church. No she doesn't work, but she is only able to do all of that because she has learned priorities and how to juggle.

I agree also that many women (not just military wives) are bored when there is tons they could be doing; either inside or outside of the home. I just meant that working full time outside of the home, though doable, is hard when multiple children are involved. Everything is doable, not everyone is good at it!!! I couldn't do it. Some can. If and when you decide to have more children Raevred, come back and let us know if you think it's any different! 

I will do! Thanks for the advice :) 

For the OP, congrats on the baby!! Having a 6 week old child there’s a lot you can do. Having a child doesn’t mean you confine yourself. There are many travel accessories you can utilize such as a carrier or even a stroller to go on walks or even act as a tourist (San Diego is a major tourist attraction city). You have a 6 week old you’ll enjoy watching your child grow as a lot happens their first few years. You can also work on advancing your child’s motor skills. When your husband is away do you. If you’re not already I wouldn’t be dependent on needing your husband’s attention; whether it is physical or emotional. He’s a service member their schedule is always hectic and at time unpredictable. Yes, it’s unfortunate as some people have this vision of a perfect family of everyone eating dinner together at 5pm and whatever else their “fantasy” entails. That’s something you have to accept being a military wife.


For Shufflin- Man I miss twinkies!!


As for everyone else cry me a fuckin river!! Honestly!! Everything is doable!!

Not to be a “one-upper” but I was single mom for so long working full-time; going to school full-time; solely caring for my children (physically and financially); taking my daughters to their extra-curricular activities; dealing with baby daddy drama and court appearances. It’s truly not that exhausting to “juggle” things if you’re organized, know how to prioritize and have a sense of diplomacy!! When I remarried I did the stay at home mom/wife for a SHORT BRIEF moment. But I couldn’t take being home I grew accustomed to being the busy independent woman/mother I was prior to remarrying. I’m back to being a busy independent woman/mother again this time just married and my children don’t complain at what amount of “devoted” time they receive. They have their own schedule of school, homework, seeing their therapist, their extra-curricular activities, and their one 4hr supervised visitation with their father. I’ve instilled upon them how to properly “juggle” their own schedules and they’ve developed their own sense of independence.

Plus, idk if any of you others have noticed that other stay-at-home-moms/wives tend to be crazy!! I think their boredom leads them to instigate shit and start drama with their significant others and others who surround them. Which, again if any of you have noticed, not only do they do this drama deal in person but it’s gone viral now online!! LoL. 

Plus, idk if any of you others have noticed that other stay-at-home-moms/wives tend to be crazy!! I think their boredom leads them to instigate shit and start drama with their significant others and others who surround them. Which, again if any of you have noticed, not only do they do this drama deal in person but it’s gone viral now online!! LoL. 


Very well said^^^^ Power to you Rainbow Dancer!!!! 

Asking what a mom does to keep busy is like asking any random person on the street what they do. You'll get a variety of answers because everyone is so vastly different from each other.

My house keeps busy. My kids are in school full time and I'm in school full time and also hold a very part time job. We own our home though so much of my time is devoted there. I enjoy home projects and decorating/renovating, I tend to our garden, research and plan completely homemade meals and keep the house clean. We're in church twice a week and I take on various volunteer opportunities, when the kids aren't be driven around to sports.

I've met working moms who rock and have thriving, happy kids and I've met ones who simply work because they can't stand their kids. I've met stay at home moms who flourish and do amazing, making me wish I was as good of a mom as they are, and I've met terrible stay at home moms who whine about feeling "stuck" because of their kids. There are pros and cons to both.

I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years and honestly they have been the best years of mine and my kids lives. Once I finish my degree I'll be a working mom and while I'm excited to finally get back to work, I'm a bit nervous because I truly enjoy being "wife" and "mom". A career will build us up financially but underneath it all, I don't think it will ever define or complete me. Some moms feel differently, and that's absolutely okay. :) 

Plus, idk if any of you others have noticed that other stay-at-home-moms/wives tend to be crazy!! I think their boredom leads them to instigate shit and start drama with their significant others and others who surround them. Which, again if any of you have noticed, not only do they do this drama deal in person but it’s gone viral now online!! LoL. 


LOL. I only really noticed that on base. It's a breeding ground for that type!!! 

Ok seriously... I dont understand what any stay at home mom does, that I dont while working full time and going to school?
My house is clean, I pay all the bills, I cook dinner, and everything else.

I think its a bunch of bull to talk about how tough being a stay at home mom is. Unless you are referring to the boredom. Then I would agree. 

Kay, I am a stay at home mom of 4. When my husband was not on recruiting duty, life was cake. You are right, I don't get how stay at home moms cant get things done. My kids always had nap time, plenty of time to clean house. Now that he isn't home until 8-9 pm, the only hard thing is getting 2 kids to sports the same night at the same time. But I choose to put my kids in sports, I am lucky to stay at home, so I should do it. My husband works hard so I can. I have no idea how full time moms get there kids to sports, I barley can!!