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Was I wrong?

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IrishTwinsx2plus1 1
laneys mommy 1
puppylove 1
a3334947uu 1
00m00 1
xxxtheripperxxx 1
Leigh3212 1
AnniRay 1
Mandi 1

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Mandi --- 9 years ago -

This is a question for an opinion. Early info - my husband is wounded warrior and having amputations in about a month.

We went home for a friends birthday,, my husband wanted to go because it was the youngest of his friends and was excited to see everyone. So we go to the party, an I wasn't drinking because I was the DD. his family invited us to stay the night if I wanted to drink. So I started drinking and was buzzed when someone said something that triggered my husbands PTSD. I asked if we could have a dark room for him to calm down, and we would leave. The friends stepsister (who had stayed sober) offered us a taxi and I told her I could drive, he just needed 5 minutes without anyone interfering. We went outside, and there was no one there. We sat, and I convinced my husband to walk around the block with me and we would go. (It had been more than 5 hours since my last drink)
His friends stepbrother came out, and he had been drinking. He was saying that all he needed was to quit being a pussy and calm down. We were already getting our stuff to go at this time. I get between my husband and this guy because he eventually started saying that my husband wasn't a marine and didnt even deserve to be alive. I ask him to sit down inside or outside-but to get out of our way so we can leave. He put his hands on my shoulders and told me it was none of my business-he wasn't talking to me. My husband tells him to take his hands off of me. At this point I rush my husband out the door and tell his sister that we are going, but they need to keep her brother away from my husband.
My husband walks down the neighborhood to cool off and I grab the rest of our things. I realized I had left the house keys in our friends bedroom. I go in and I hear his brother say that he was going to find my husband and "show him how a real man acts". I again ask his sister to keep him away from my husband until we can leave.
I walk down the street and can't see my husband and I decided to head back to the house and get the car so I can find him. I hear the brother saying that he was trying to calm him down and didnt do anything wrong. I go in and ask to talk to his father because I didn't want the truth to be untold. I asked him if we could go inside and I could talk to him. I told him that we were trying to leave and he blocked us in, my husband was going to snap because he had put his hands on me. He got angry, called me a liar and said I wasn't welcome because I was making false accusations. At this point, his son gets in my face while I'm heading to my car. He gets in my face and starts yelling. I told him if he was going to hit me, then hit me-but I wanted to go and he needed to back off. His father pulled him in and told me to get off his property before he calls the cops. I told him that I was sorry everything happened, but I didn't lie and I didn't want to call the cops or file any reports. His son shows up again, calls me a fat b*tch and if he finds my husband and put him in the hospital.
I then get in my car and find my husband. His sister (the sober one) came up and knocked on the window. I told her I was leaving and what had happened. I was worried that what had happened would affect the relationship that he's had since he was a kid. She says everyone's drunk and it will be forgotten in the morning.
I feel that I did what I could, and I'm so upset that my husband and I were treated his way. Did I do something wrong? I don't know what else I could have done. 

xxxtheripperxxx --- 9 years ago -

I found this from the Department of Veterans Affairs.......
Using too much alcohol makes it harder to cope with stress and your trauma memories. Alcohol use and intoxication (getting drunk) can increase some PTSD symptoms. Examples of symptoms that can get worse are numbing of your feelings, being cut off from others, anger and irritability, depression, and the feeling of being on guard.

I think I'd try to keep my husband away from boozefests, or at the very least, I'd stay sober. If you were still buzzed five hours later, you must have been pretty well lit. 

IrishTwinsx2plus1 --- 9 years ago -

You did nothing wrong, except maybe taking a little too long to get out of there? lol You've got a lot going on in your lives, I'd omit people and situations that cause unnecessary drama. You just don't need it. 

a3334947uu --- 9 years ago -

Some friends you have. I'm sorry that happened to you and husband. 

Leigh3212 --- 9 years ago -


puppylove --- 9 years ago -

You didn't do anything wrong but one of you should have been sober even if you had a place to stay. Your husband probably shouldn't be drinking because of his PTSD but that's something he has to figure out for himself. 

AnniRay --- 9 years ago -

your story makes me so mad. Drunk or not drunk, if anyone called my husband "not a marine" or not a man enough they would be dead. 

00m00 --- 9 years ago -

I don't think you should have gone to the father. Everyone was drinking so that wasn't the time or place to be worrying about who is telling the truth and you should of just kept trying to find your husband instead. All in all this already happened and its in the past. All you can do it learn from it and I do agree with what others said all the lines of no more drinking at least not like that until you all work through the PTSD. I am sorry that guy talked about your husband and you that way. It was completely uncalled for and very immature behavior from him. 

laneys mommy --- 9 years ago -

Drinking or not I would personally never speak to those people again. Drinking isn't an excuse for that behavior and where was the so called FRIEND! Those people are not friends. I don't care if your husband had known them since birth. Again that does not excuse the horrible behavior. People find out who their real friends are when the chips are down. I also agree with others that people with PTSD shouldn't be drinking and if that's an issue he may need some help with it. Regardless there should have been more understanding for what your husband has been through in service to all of us who live in this country.

You have to let this go. The father obviously could care less about how his family acts. He saw the step brothers behavior with is own eyes and still called you the lier in the end. Guess he's fine with his son hitting a girl, if I read things right. That tells you right there the kind of people these are. 

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