Hi, I went to base legal with questions about getting divorced. I got a shrug and was told to "go to a divorce class" or "do it out in town." That's it. Is there a website with info about the class here on base? How was your experience? How did it work for you? If you need a little more info: Married 3.5 years. 1 kid, a preschooler. I'm a student. No debt together. Bank accounts and bills are separate. Cars seperate. I own mine. I am willing to use another base and let him use this one. I only want our child's things and furniture I had prior to marriage, he can keep the rest. I'd like to leave the state with our child as soon as possible. I only want child support and enough money to get us started in my home state. I will share custody. I am from the East coast, so I need to drive our stuff back, towing my car. He's already told me if I leave I won't get anything, except our kid. I have no desire to be petty or fight him. I don't want to bring up the reasons why I'm leaving. I need out. I want to do it quickly and efficiently, rather than run away with nothing and end up begging for help. I would love any information you have. Questions I need to ask. Whatever you've got. Lay it on me. Thanks. 

He has to pay u spousal support for half the duration of ur marriage 

He has to pay u spousal support for half the duration of ur marriage 

He doesn't HAVE to since they were only married 3.5 years, really? He can fight it because if they have separate accounts and bills are paid separate how is she getting the money to pay them? Also, if she is physically and skilled enough to work (ie. not handicapped) alimony will be improbable. Since you're filing on the East Coast you're only entitled to a certain % of his income for child support. Custody will also lower that amount.

If you want out quick then go to a mediation and fill out a parenting plan and come to an agreement on child support or it gets kicked to the courts. 

The only "alimony" she is "entitled" to is 1/2 BAH until the divorce is final. 

im so confused why so many people here talk of divorce...why do people bother getting married? what ever happened to the vows? do people forget the vows they took? some are not in order!sometimes the worse is before the better...
people should ask more "how can i fix my marriage" rather then all the lets take the easy way out, ruin childrens lives and divorce.
just had to vent! hahaha 

Clinical Depression --- 38 min ago - quote - flag comment - hide comments
The only "alimony" she is "entitled" to is 1/2 BAH until the divorce is final.

Completely untrue....but don't take my word for it.

@somebody...so true!! 

Anything under 10 yrs is considered short term marriage & you are only entitled to spousal support for half the duration of ur marriage, now what I don't know is if you have worked if you still get spousal support. They also take into consideration the lifestyle u are used to 

Thanks for the information so far...I'll file here. I'm not asking for alimony. This isn't an I'm-just-tired-of-my-spouse kind of thing. Worse case, he can keep everything but our clothes. Can I start printing out any paperwork now or should I wait? Is mediation available here on base? If so, through base legal? Again, they gave me very little information. 

U probably need a lawyer...base legal I hear has a list of retired jag lawyers. 

Thanks. 

No prob 

im so confused why so many people here talk of divorce...why do people bother getting married? what ever happened to the vows? do people forget the vows they took? some are not in order!sometimes the worse is before the better... people should ask more "how can i fix my marriage" rather then all the lets take the easy way out, ruin childrens lives and divorce.just had to vent! hahaha

Because it's so much better for a child's well being to be brought up by two miserable parents, right?

Divorce isn't anything new - kids are resilient and do BETTER brought up in a HAPPY home, even if that means a single parent home.

What about all the kids born out of wedlock? You mean their lives are ruined because their parents don't live together? 

There is no universal alimony rule that you have to pay it, so because you get it, doesn't mean everyone who walks into court will get it. The only universal alimony rule is that it's taxable income and tax deductible. You also don't have to pay if it the other party waives that right, post-nup/pre-nup. 

I was divorced in CA, married 6+ years, 2 children.

I was not entitled to any spousal support.

Unless a judge grants it, he doesn't HAVE to pay you anything. 

You (and your child) are entitled to a portion of his base pay and bah until you get something in writing.

Make sure that you clear base housing before you leave tho, otherwise he will just stay there and his bah goes to pay for the house that was provided for "his family". 

Do I need to give prior notice to housing? 

You need to contact a licensed attorney. 

Finally Law Dog....was wondering if you'd see this post. 

You do in fact need to contact a base legal because this whole string is full of misinformation.

You ARE NOT entitled to any portion of his Base Pay, only a portion of his BAH.

The only BAH you are entitled to is he BAH difference that he received for being married. That's it. If he rates $1200 a month on right if he were still a single Marine, and rates $1400 for being married, all his command is authorized to compel him to give you is the difference between the two. That's it. For this example that's $200.

It doesn't matter if he takes forever to leave housing, his command will order him to give you the difference between the Single and Married with Dependants BAH rate.

The DoD does not have the power to make him pay you spousal support, travel expenses or to give you specific furniture or a vehicle. Those are civil issues and can only be adjudicated by a civil court, I.e. divorce court.

This forum is a good place to rant and rave, but is a horrible place to get advice like this. The best piece of advice you have received here is to seek legal counsel. All these one burnt twice shy spouses in here.will give you bad scoop and false hopes. Nine times out of ten the info provided here is no better than the info garnered by the "Lance Corporal Network" within the Marine Corps itself. Often there is a tinge of the truth, but it is usually hidden by the cloud of BS surrounding it.

Good luck! 

^^well said& I guess everyone's situation is different 

Situations are one thing, but what the DoD can compel a service member to do are another. What I described above applies to every situation. Anything else has to come from an action ordered from a civil divorce court. 

Yes & I was not referring to the DOD when I gave my response. When I thought I may be getting divorced I was advised by an atorney. Personally I think that is her best bet is to have a professional advise her. :) 

A service member is REQUIRED to support his family members; after the game, i'll research the MCO and post it. 

This may be dated.

There is a sliding scale of base pay that the service member is required to provide IF there is NO written support agreement.

1 fm = $350
2 fm = 286

PLUS a percentage of the BAH

1 fm = 1/2 bah
2 fm = 1/3 bah

The max a service member is required to pay is 1/3 of the GROSS income.

failure to support family memebers can result in PUNITIVE action. 

Thanks guys. If it wasn't clear I wasn't asking for anything out of a sense of entitlement. Just wondered about leaving the state with our kid and if I convinced him to give me a little bit upfront, what documents would be needed. I'll even leave the things I own outright. I'm not worried about material things, I can always replace that stuff. I was interested more from personal experience using base legal, meaning both parties were in agreement on things. I know he'd agree to keep everything. From my research a divorce with mediation costs on average $4000 to $6000. If I could afford that amount money I would never ask random people on the Internet. I think that goes for a lot of people who ask these types of questions on here. I don't take it as gospel, just a way to hit the ground running...Seriously, right now someone is reading this thinking the same thing as me. It's not easy asking for a little information because while we get a little correct information we tons of people slinging mud. Here on base we get the looks like we're trash because we "couldn't make our marriages work" or we're asking for information on the next step if we leave. You don't know if I am moving home to rich parents and sleeping in until noon or a battered women's shelter. Sometimes those few lofty comments you offer scare women who need to leave back into silence. Just the same, thanks for all of the information. 

Dated. Not the policy in effect now. 

So, Flirty, what IS the policy?

I'm not at work, so I cant pull up the MCO 

Do NOT leave the state until you either have his (in writing) or the courts permission. 

MCO P5800.16_ applies.

The numbers above that are reflected are found there. They are for personnel that do NOT have a written support agreement. 

The Legal Admin Manual addresses support issues without court order for the Marine Corps.