I want a baby so badly. =( My husband wants kids too, but we have been waiting for over a year now, and now he says he wants to wait another six months so we can pay off our credit cards. i agree with the decision, but I can't help that it makes me sad. =( I want children so badly, and all our friends say that you're never really ready for kids anyway. I dunno. I just can't help it. but the holidays make me want kids even more. I see all my little cousins running around, and how great my husband is with them and how much he wants kids. I can see it in his eyes. But he says he is scared he will be a bad father. =( I can't help feeling like he is procrastinating having a child, because he is scared. =(

Advice? 

Wait until he's ready. 

our first child was a surprise and my husband was scared ( even though he would never say that) but we went round and round for 2 years on having a second untill i put my foot down and told him this was something I felt very strongly about so he agreed that if it happened it happened so i made sure it happened lol. i mean you can never plan for the next 18 years of your life 

Just tell him you don't want an old man with a cane teaching your son how to ride a bike. 

Wait until he's ready.

X2
Its never ok to push someone into becoming a parent, if he isnt ready he isnt ready...what happens if this baby is born and its to much stress on him? Pushing someone to have a baby is selfish 

My husband didn't want to have baby #3 (his first, my third). He said my two, our two, were all he ever wanted. I begged for years. We didn't start fertility treatment until 4 1/2 yrs into our relationship. 4 years later (8 1/2 years total) I am looking at my month old baby boy. My husband was terrified to have a biological child. He feared everything. You know what he said almost immediately after delivery? And I quote "we need to have a girl too". Mr. I don't want to do it wants baby #4 now.

I think it's completely normal for him to be scared. He'll get over it. Hang in there! 

Wait. :) We have been married almost 6 years and are just now feeling ready for littles. We also just paid off 13K in credit card debt, and feel that we are finally in the right place to start a family. It will be worth it, believe me. :) 

I know it's hard to hear, when all you want is to get pregnant. BTDT. Hang in there. Just think - you will be so elated when you finally see that 2nd line on a HPT. :) 

Thank you all so much =) I appreciate all view points. I feel both ways too! I mean, we have been together for four years, and we are still very much in love, and we are both ready emotionally, but he has other fears. I have been very patient and I plan to remain that way, I just really needed to get some of my crazy hormones out haha. Thanks so much for all the input and for listening to my woes. =} 

I can relate sort of. My husbands parents did not want us to have baby # 2 and 3. But we don't get anything from them. They give us gas when we visit and buy my kids goodies. We want a 4 th later on possibly, I am so scared that they will cut us off. My hubs says screw them, but it hurts knowing they don't want another grand kid. Hang in there, it doesn't feel good when someone doesn't want u to, he will come around. 

I'm convinced my Hubs & I will never have baby fever & we'll never really have that yearning to have kids.

I think we'll make a logical, reasonable decision that it's an appropriate time to have a baby. Haha 

I want a baby so badly. =( My husband wants kids too, but we have been waiting for over a year now, and now he says he wants to wait another six months so we can pay off our credit cards. i agree with the decision, but I can't help that it makes me sad. =( I want children so badly, and all our friends say that you're never really ready for kids anyway. I dunno. I just can't help it. but the holidays make me want kids even more. I see all my little cousins running around, and how great my husband is with them and how much he wants kids. I can see it in his eyes. But he says he is scared he will be a bad father. =( I can't help feeling like he is procrastinating having a child, because he is scared. =(

Advice? 

You sound just like me. Hubby said to wait because he might deploy and we need to pay off debt. Well he never deployed and we still have debt...I have 10 mth old twins now. We tried for 4 years total. 3 before we were married and 6 months after we were married we tried Clomid. Nothing happened. I was upset. Then he said we should wait blah blah...and once we said screw it we will just wait and not worry about it...BAM I pop up pregnant. Twins at that. Point is...you are always going to have debt. Be it a car payment, mortgage, credit card whatever. There are rarely any people out there that don't have some sort of debt. However, how old are you and your hubby? How long have you been married? These might be some things I would say to wait, if you are both young and newly married. Because in this case, I feel that you should both get to know each other and enjoy your life with each other for a few years. We had dated like I said for 3 years, apart for 1 yr while he was in school and got married, going on 2 yr anniversary this month. We are also, 30 (me)/27 (him) yrs old so we are slightly older. We been to parties, bars, trips, etc. So we have a little life experience already. Kids kinda hold you back from things. Its hard to go places, especially in military lifestyle. You are away from family and friends. I stay home with them since that is the best option (If I went back to work I'd be working just for daycare and gas...not worth it) But I was a very independent woman before, always had a job and out and about. It was a big adjustment even for me. So I would just think of everything before you make the leap. I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything but the really do completely change your life. 

Just tell him you don't want an old man with a cane teaching your son how to ride a bike. 

This was a big thing for me...not so much on him but ME! I am 30, so I didn't want to wait much longer. Plus he has a son from a previous relationship. So he felt like he was ok (already being a dad) but I wanted to be a mom and not an old one. I don't want my kids friends to ask "Oh do you live with your grandma?" 

my husband didnt want a baby...lol and then one morning woke up and BOOM...BABE U NEED TO BE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW! LOL he is scared but hes also excited. i think most men are in the beginning. why dont u guys try babysitting together?? see how he likes it? 

So I would just think of everything before you make the leap. I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything but the really do completely change your life.

YES! 

I am 30

I'm convinced that I'll easily be 30 or a few years older before we're ready. 

I'm convinced that I'll easily be 30 or a few years older before we're ready. 

At first I said 25 but then that came and went. 30 isn't so bad. I don't feel it really. 

It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant (and here I am ready to pop any day now!) - My husband and I are both 24 (I will be 25 in Feb)

It was really important that we were BOTH "ready" ... Ive been ready my whole life, Im a mom by nature, but my husband isnt like that, he hasnt had the experience with children that I have and he had a rough childhood so it was important to him that we be as ready (emotionally, physically, monetarily) as we can be before we even start trying - we DIDNT expect it to take 2 years but it did and was maybe a blessing in disguise.

Our goals were lofty but we accomplished them before we got pregnant ...

I had my Bachelors Degree and wanted to be secure and happy in my job - and I got there ...
We paid off our credit cards
We paid off a LARGE chiropractic bill from before J joined the USMC
We were also able to contribute a more significant amount to our savings since conception took longer than we originally thought it would ...

We felt really good about where we were ... it took longer than *I* wanted but I am glad how it ultimately worked out

We are DAYS away from meeting our little girl and we are BOTH so excited and ready for this next chapter or our lives my husband feels READY to be a father and that means more than ANYTHING...

I know thats not necessarily any advice to you but I wanted to share MY experience

Good Luck! 

30 isn't so bad. I don't feel it really

I'm already 27. So 30 isn't that far away! We joked that we'd have a baby/be pregnant @ 30. But, now that we're 27, we realized we'd probably be starting the process of "baby" as I type. &, well, we're SO NOT READY! Haha

We spent the first 3 years of our marriage apart & we've JUST settled in to our first home, together. & I've JUST landed my big girl job. 

I'm already 27. So 30 isn't that far away! We joked that we'd have a baby/be pregnant @ 30. But, now that we're 27, we realized we'd probably be starting the process of "baby" as I type. &, well, we're SO NOT READY! Haha

We spent the first 3 years of our marriage apart & we've JUST settled in to our first home, together. & I've JUST landed my big girl job.

see even being a little older you know you want to do things before you have a baby. That's good. Take the time while you can. 

My parents & in-laws were 30 or close to it when they had me & Hubs, respectively.

I don't consider my parents or in-laws "old" & there's nothing they haven't been able to do w/ us growing up or even now. 

My brother's first child was born in June ... my brother turned 30 in March ... age is just a number sometimes 

My parents and aunts all had 1 child at age 30, and I think it worked out. I enjoyed being an only child and I think my parents' ages corresponded appropriately to me growing up- I never felt like my parents were "old."

Im 26, we'll have all debt paid off my 28, and from 28-29 we want to focus on health (getting me as strong and healthy as possible since my cancer history) and then end of age 29 beginning 30 we'll starting trying for our one. One and DONE :) 

My husband and I are the opposite. He wants a baby, badly. If I were to have a baby of course I would love it, but I really don't feel the need to have another. We each have a child from previous relationships and mine will be a teenager in March. I feel like we are at a good place and I dread the thought of starting over with a baby. He is very firm that he will not be satisfied unless we have another child though. Ugh. 

One and we're done, not by choice though.