I want to ask this question simply because I would like to get a perspective from fellow marine wives or female marines who can relate . let me briefly summarize our past . There were many indescretions acted out by my husband before we were married. We went through therapy and he put forth the effort to make things better and so it stopped . We got married and a year later, I found out he had attempted to talk to random women through various social networking sites. Nothing physical ever progressed just mild flirtation and inappropriate conversation. I confronted him and it was resolved . 2 years later here we are with a 2 month old . Everything in my eyes has been going better than ever . Our marriage is stable, we are happy and no indescretions of any kind. I don't know if its my insecurity, but for a while now he's been going to lunch w a female marine. Occasional hang outs don't bother me but its the fact that I never hear about her . He rarely talks about her and never mentions the fact that they do frequently meet up for lunch. They work in separate buildings but used to work w each other . The texts they send each other do remain on a friendly level except for some recent ones that sounded more flirtatious . I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and am not confronting or mentioning this at all to him. At a previous family day I saw her with her husband and thought maybe she would come up and say hi, but didnt. She did see us, I noticed. He noticed her also but looked away . This situation made me upset because In my mind, if you have lunch and long conversations and confide in my husband so much why can't you at least come up to his family and introduce yourself to us (ME) out of respect. The next day I saw their text conversation, she stated that she regretted not coming and saying hi and that she was to scared to. This didn't make sense to me. They quickly changed the subject and nothing of it was mentioned again. There's alot about their friendship that bothers me, the fact that she confides so much in my husband instead of her own, the fact that they try to do as many things together, ex the range, classes etc. anything exciting that happens to her or gossip she right away texts my husband. is it ok to be such close friends with the opposite sex ? Should I mention my concern or should I just continue to say nothing ? Is it more than a friendship ? 

I think if you're on here asking for other opinions you already know what the answer is and perhaps don't like it and are hoping for us to convince you otherwise. You know your husband, is he the type to be just close friends with someone or no, clearly he likes to hide things but does he full out lie? Have you straight up asked him what's going on? That's your call to make and I think in your gut you know the answer.
Best of luck though, especially with a child that is a very hard situation. 

I consider what they are doing cheating. It's inappropriate to start up a friendship w the opposite sex while you're married...there is obviously attraction between the two of them...I'd be asking wtf else has been going on. Too passive!!! 

My husband and I went through a similar situation, and he eventually told me months later that he did have an affair with her...just as my gut had been telling me the whole time. I even knew this woman and saw each other on a daily basis. A woman's best instinct is your gut. Trust it. From the body language at the family day, that would have been enough proof for me. But honestly there really isn't too much you can do unless he tells you or you have proof. You can ask him outright but he probably wont tell you, he will probably deny it and make you sound like the bad guy. The only thing you CAN do is express you feelings that you feel the relationship is inappropriate and ask him to stop the relationship. I wish I had a better answer for you! best wishes! If it makes you feel better my husband and I are still together. We have been married for 6 years and we both believe that ordeal (as awful as it was) made us stronger and truly realize what we REALLY wanted out of our relationship, each other. 

An emotional attachment can be just as devastating to a relationship as a physical one if it crosses boundaries and takes time and energy away from the marriage-which should be their primary relationships. He may not be feeling quite the same attachment level she is and just sees it as a close friendship, but she might to be reminded SHE has a spouse. Talk to him, see how he feels about her if he'll even tell you. Plus they are taking a risk, if anyone at work misconstrues the relationship as inappropriate as well.

My husband keeps his distance from female Marines, he never counsels them alone in his office or with the door closed, and if a working lunch is needed there's always other parties present for those as well....rumors can get going pretty fast and he doesn't care to give anyone any fuel for the fire.

Anyway you can insert yourself in these lunch dates or show up randomly around lunch time to have lunch with your spouse? Kind-of throw her off her game so to speak? 

If in fact they are, or even if they aren't physical I would like to have all the proof I can . Once I get it, who can I contact about this issue, ex: FRO ? Would it even be an issue of mothing physical has happened ? I was thinking about bringing it to his attention in a way that will show him that this friendship with this female marine is inappropriate . 

This is a situation that you want to work out with your marine before involving any command unless you have proof that he cheated and want his ass fried...either way sometimes it's best to walk away with pride rather than dragging it all through the dirt. Anywho, I would talk it over with your husband and just tell him the relationship makes you uncomfortable and that you think it is inappropriate and to please stop communicating with her. Ask your husband how he would feel if this situation was swapped. If you need someone to talk to you, you have the right to free, anonymous counseling via military one source (you can find more information on their website) or they can refer you and your husband to a counselor out in town. Sometimes it's nice to talk to someone who doesn't have any type of affiliation with you or your husband to be a mediator. I really hope your situation was not as serious as mine. Be the stronger person! :) 

First of all, I enjoy hearing from a wife who fights for her marriage. It sounds like you two have been through enough crap in the past and you still say that you have a happy relationship. Keep up the positive thinking there! On this situation however, don't be too passive. It is obvious to me that this is all very innapropriate even if it hasn't developed into anything physical.
What I read somewhere that normally when a woman is cheating, she will be avoiding eye contact, conversation, or talking about anything sexual at all. But when a man is cheating, he will be all over his partner (wife) in bed, in public, even when the kids are looking. Can't say if this is the same for every couple though. 

I would talk it over with your husband and just tell him the relationship makes you uncomfortable and that you think it is inappropriate and to please stop communicating with her. Ask your husband how he would feel if this situation was swapped.

^^^Men are pretty one minded when it comes to cheating. As far as they are concerned, if he isn't having sex with her, he isn't cheating, period. You might want to do some research on emotional cheating before you sit down and talk with him. How he would feel if the situation was reversed and it was you with a extremely close male friend is a great point to make. Even if he isn't as emotionally attached as she is, he needs to be aware of the danger signs before someone goes too far. 

You are exactly right about him being one minded . That is exactly his mind set . If its not physical it's not cheating . Thank you all for your comments . 

How he would feel if the situation was reversed and it was you with a extremely close male friend is a great point to make.

I 100% agree with this approach. Some men are stupid and unless you put it to them in terms of if you were doing the same thing they were, they dont get it. Most recently Ive been talking to some other pregnant women who are fighting with their husbands on who is allowed in the delivery room and the husbands cant understand why these women are uncomfortable with in laws being present. I told them all "put it like this: how would you like it if your penis were hanging out performing a miracle and I wanted my entire family to watch it?" and suddenly they all understood.
You have to put it in a way where they would be effected or they dont get it. 

"put it like this: how would you like it if your penis were hanging out performing a miracle and I wanted my entire family to watch it?"
Haha!! Love it! 

I agree with needing to talk about the issue. He needs to put himself in your place. Also, since you got married you are to be treated as a pair meaning your friends are his friends and his friends are yours. What the girl is doing is inappropriate. When meeting a guy friend's significant other, I try to go out of my way to get to know them and be even better friends with them but some people just don't seem to have or care to know this social politeness. I respect other girls who give me the same curtesy and would welcome them as my friends.

For your marriage to work in the long run and especially when you've had trust issues in the past, you both need to work on being open books with nothing to hide even if sometimes the truth is not what you want to hear.

I also second the staying away from and being paranoid around female marines for your husband's career.

It seems like you only had a child recently so your hormones may still be out of whack. Be sure, when talking things out that you consider this so it won't control you but it doesn't mean you are being unreasonable about your concerns.

So bottom line, he needs to be bluntly truthful about his relationship and he needs to know he's making you uncomfortable as he should be in your place. Either he needs to end his friendship with the girl because she is nothing compared to you or you girls need to be introduced and become very open, good friends.