My kids and i were in a bad car accident the night i dropped my husband off for deployment, after seeing a doc they decided to send a red cross message because i wouldnt send it and have the doc verify the message myself because i wasnted to try to stick it out!!1 My doc sent the message and it stated that i am on a lifting restriction and need to be on full and complete bed rest, im in intense pain and unable to care for my household and kids at this time, and that my husband needed to be sent home because i cannot recover and that i may need to ave immediate surgery. His whole comand knew about my accident and actually urged him to tell me to send the message they all wanted to send him home, i had contact with most the higher up wives and higher ups themselves saying as soon as they got the message they wanted to send him home, including the BC. They recieved the message and as soon as they revieceved it they made him turn in all his gear and siff and told him to pack, then for a week they messed around telling him they were going to send him home and on friday just before christmas they told him that they decided to " push it out" to Feb. and then when i called Red Cross for the exact message sent i found out the message had been slightly altered and it said he was Recommened he come home not that he absoultely needs to and they just happen to leave out the surgery part, i know what the doc said caue she made the call to Red Cross while i was in the room with her!!1 an that his leave was denied, but they are telling him they are pushing it out till Feb. I need him home as i need surgery and now his chaps is telling him to tell me to send another Red cross!! has anyone else delt wth this cause im being told by a lot of military personel that the cannto deny the message unless its for something like pregncay birthing. Im confused as to what to do adnd wonderinf if anyoe else is or has delt with this and what i should do???? any input is appreciated 

They can deny it. I had emergency surgery on my husbands first deployment that we were married for. I was able to get respite care with the help of the lead KV (what the FROs replaced.) talk with your FRO to see if you can get some care for your children. 

Have your doctor write what the situation is. Those Red Cross reps seem to note things inaccurately and then when you call, you talk to different people.

I have a serious illness and needed surgery. Red Cross didn't want to send the message until I had a surgery date, which took a few days because I need to see the specialist that was going to perform the surgery. It took 7 days from when the message was sent for him to get home. 

They can and have denied many people emergency leave to return to the states. Keep trying the red cross but honestly your best bet is to try and find alternate care for your kids and plan on your husband not being there, that way if he doesnt get sent home you won't be left scrambling. 

I have seen people denied many of times. Its all up to the command. Your best bet like others said is to find help from someone or somewhere else. Try contact Marine and Family services they might be able to help with some respite care. Sucks but its all a part of life. 

People that should be sent home hardly ever are, and people that have no urgent need be home get sent home. Just my experience.... 

I had emergency surgery in April.... no luck with the hubby! LOL! I enlisted the help of my parents and my friends. 

Ya i tryed to get the help like ya'll said but no luck, i was just confsed as was he cause his command was on board, they all urged him to tell me to send for him and then when the doc left me with no choice cause of surgery coming up the BC even said that all he needed was the Red cross and he would send him home, they made him turn everything in and pack and then all the sudden they wanna push it out till Feb is what hes being told but im being told when i call Red Cross his leave was denied so i guess my question is is it denied like red cross stated to ir is just being pushed out as i and my husband is being told by his command? Also i have a doc apt on monday and although i dont think its worth another message again she leaving me no chocie do you think that a second one will make a difference and thank you all, i have been a marine wife for years but never had to deal with a situation like this :-/ darn drunk driver!!! 

If you see the doctor and the situation has changed, then I would send another Red Cross message. This way his command can reconsider his emergency leave based on the new information they have received.

My situation wasn't life or death (at that moment) it was breast cancer and of course I needed surgery and follow up treatment.

Good luck! 

ok thanks so much and im so sorry to hear that hun and i know im seeking help but mine is nothing like yours and if you ever need anything please dont hesitate to ask!!1 My mom has breast cancer as well so i have been caring for her off an on till this recent year but i would be happy to help if i can in any way!! Im a cosmotoligist and i offer service cheap to those who go through this because i understand the situation and what yall indure mentally and physically! Its my dream to open a salon that caters to those going through such an illness and yes my situation went from shoulder surgery to now also having to have my knee and back operated on as well, so thank you so much for the advice!! 

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