I heard the most dumbest thing come out of a very close person to me and it kinda hurt my feelings...

SO here it go...
Got a friend who has a cheating husband, cheats all the time, over 108181 times and she knows. Not happy with it but cant let go.
WELL this very close person says "She is a very strong woman, the most strongest woman"

Im like HUH??? How??? Strong for staying, knowing he has cheated 110000 times....??? Well they says " yes because she is staying true to her marriage, through thick and thin she is willing to keep sticking it out".

What you think? 

She sounds like a doormat and a glutton for punishment. He has no respect for her.

She also could be afraid to be alone or on her own w/kids. 

Thank you the same thing i think! So tired of hearing about this crap, it makes me mad to see a woman so "WEAK".
But in this case "SO STRONG"???! 

what this site about 

If he cheated once yes it does take a VERY strong person to stay with the cheating spouse and work on the marriage. If you love someone deeply it's hard to let them go. On the other hand I feel very sorry for her and hope she finds the will power to leave him soon. It's to the point that he is taking advantage of her because he knows he can get away with it. 

If he cheated once yes it does take a VERY strong person to stay with the cheating spouse and work on the marriage. If you love someone deeply it's hard to let them go. On the other hand I feel very sorry for her and hope she finds the will power to leave him soon. It's to the point that he is taking advantage of her because he knows he can get away with it. 

x2. 

yuupp! 

This whole question makes me think of a very similar situation that I've been trying to answer the same question to. Its the basic situation except the husband is not a cheater, instead he is clinically depressed, has PTSD and is completely emotionally detached. He is not physically abusive. The wife loves her husband and feels she is strong by loving her husband through it all even though her husband is pushing her away (physically/emotionally). IS she strong? Or should she just give up the way her husband tells her to? He says he loves her but that its pointless because he thinks things will never get better and she shouldn't be weighed down by him. 

This whole question makes me think of a very similar situation that I've been trying to answer the same question to. Its the basic situation except the husband is not a cheater, instead he is clinically depressed, has PTSD and is completely emotionally detached. He is not physically abusive. The wife loves her husband and feels she is strong by loving her husband through it all even though her husband is pushing her away (physically/emotionally). IS she strong? Or should she just give up the way her husband tells her to? He says he loves her but that its pointless because he thinks things will never get better and she shouldn't be weighed down by him.

This situation is not comparable. Depression/PTSD does crazy things to people and their thought process. I would do everything I could to get that person into treatment. At that point it is his choice if he chooses to participate. I would not enable someone who was not well to stay that way. That might mean walking away at some point (this varies for everyone) if they refuse to get healthy. 

Got a friend who has a cheating husband, cheats all the time, over 108181 times and she knows. Not happy with it but cant let go.
WELL this very close person says "She is a very strong woman, the most strongest woman"

Im like HUH??? How??? Strong for staying, knowing he has cheated 110000 times....??? Well they says " yes because she is staying true to her marriage, through thick and thin she is willing to keep sticking it out".

I know someone who is exactly like this with the same thought process...I recently found out she is staying because she cannot financially make it on her own if she were to leave him (plus she has no family that will take her in) 

This whole question makes me think of a very similar situation that I've been trying to answer the same question to. Its the basic situation except the husband is not a cheater, instead he is clinically depressed, has PTSD and is completely emotionally detached. He is not physically abusive. The wife loves her husband and feels she is strong by loving her husband through it all even though her husband is pushing her away (physically/emotionally). IS she strong? Or should she just give up the way her husband tells her to? He says he loves her but that its pointless because he thinks things will never get better and she shouldn't be weighed down by him.

This situation is not comparable. Depression/PTSD does crazy things to people and their thought process. I would do everything I could to get that person into treatment. At that point it is his choice if he chooses to participate. I would not enable someone who was not well to stay that way. That might mean walking away at some point (this varies for everyone) if they refuse to get healthy.

I agree, PTSD is completely uncontrollable situation he's not choosing to have. Adultery on the other hand is a selfish, self involved decision he is CHOOSING to make. 

I agree, PTSD is completely uncontrollable situation he's not choosing to have. Adultery on the other hand is a selfish, self involved decision he is CHOOSING to make.

Yeah its not PTSD at all, he party's 24/7, hang with his homies, f's all kinds of women, basically living like he is single while dragging a woman along who he decided to marry and have 3 kids with. At this point the woman is dumb, over 20+ times?? he says he loves her and all that good stuff and will change. Umm haven't yet and its been 8 1/2 years i believe, and was actually cheating before they married.And she knew, but then again this is what she likes im thinking. Just so tired of hearing the same story all the time! You either stop complaining, stressing yourself, crying and suck it up my dear because WHAT YOU PUT UP WITH IS WHAT YOU END UP WITH!.....gosshhh how do i tell her this with out being mean!? 

oh yeah He just deployed.
and he cheats 200x worst when he deploys.
but more by internet sites,e-mail and by phone....lmao I guess he gets it anyway he can.
But now he is on the boat and i have heard that cheating is a number one with this kind of deployment. smh.... 

I had a friend just like yours...husband was a pig, wife became a joke. One day I just told her that her husband must be great guy, because he was exactly the kind of guy she always dreamed of marrying, right? I'd watched her go from a cheerful girl who turned heads, to a frumpy woman, all over that trashy guy, but I was still her friend. Months later she suddenly stopped speaking to me...I finally caught up with her and found out why...her husband told her he wanted to have a threesome with me and another woman. I was shocked and disgusted. I let go of that friendship right then and there. It was more crazy than I could handle and rather than blame him, she blamed me. 

oh yeah He just deployed.
and he cheats 200x worst when he deploys.
but more by internet sites,e-mail and by phone....lmao I guess he gets it anyway he can.
But now he is on the boat and i have heard that cheating is a number one with this kind of deployment. smh....

OMG my husband just came back from a deployment not to long ago and told me that 90% of the guys he deployed with cheated on their wives..only a handful stayed faithful, he says "its easy to cheat when your deployed" 

OMG my husband just came back from a deployment not to long ago and told me that 90% of the guys he deployed with cheated on their wives..only a handful stayed faithful, he says "its easy to cheat when your deployed" 

Really 90%, does anyone else think this is true? 

I'm a Marine and currently deployed. I can tell you that the loved ones back home have significantly more of an opprotunity to cheat. 90% of deployed persons do not cheat, that is a dumb stat that is not valid at all. Of my 100+ Marine platoon, I can confidently say that very few if any of my guys have cheated. I talk to all of them about all kinds of things and I'm sure I would have heard something. Instead, all they talk about is thier wives. We've been here for almost a year. If your man or woman is a cheater, he/she will cheat deployed or at home. Don't let people scare you. If you trust yourself then trust your spouse. If you can't make it a year or 6 months without cheating then you have a problem. 

90% sounds like a ridiculous amount, either it's BS or the unit just so happens to be full of dirtbags. 

I'm a Marine and currently deployed. I can tell you that the loved ones back home have significantly more of an opprotunity to cheat. 90% of deployed persons do not cheat, that is a dumb stat that is not valid at all.

the statement may not be true for your platoon, but it is for my husbands not all were married some just had girlfriends and those relationships did not make it. My husband says that "thats great for your Marines that do not cheat but his do" and we have seen countless divorces. 

What you think?


Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

She needs to move on. Sad, really.