Okay I just need some insight, advice, whatever. Bottom line, my husband is an arse. He put me over the edge two days ago so I called my mom and his and said alright i'm coming home. Never said when, just soon. His mom called him and he pissed her off so they jumped at doing it all this weekend. Uprooting the kids and I like tomorrow. HA. I'm not ready for that. Ther perfect weekend would've been the next weekend after payday, but husbands friends grandarents are moving somewhere down here and he is helping them/getting paid. That takes priority to him. That doesn't matter, fine, I can wait until the 1st ish of May. I'm sure he doesn't want to. He's all for this weekend. Now, I had a friend call me yesterday and I told her what's going on. She said I should get seperation papers before I leave to make sure the kids are taken care of, you know, money wise. My husband can say all he wants that he will pay, but who really knows, right? So if I get those papers, I need to stay until the first. If I don't get those papers, is it true that once i'm back home and he decides to be a dick about money(spend it all on oh say, alcohol) that I can't do anything about it? Another thing, I know it has been argued, about getting his command involved. I half think no, because in the civilian life you don't get their work involved. But maybe that's what he needs. It would irritate him, maybe it would do him some good. He was saying if we move this weekend, he would drive the truck home and come back before work, and only tell one person because he'd be going out of bounds, and he doesn't want to tell anyone because then people ask questions and try to get involved...maybe they need to. I don't know. Does anyone have opinions on that? If I did, who do I even call. My nerves are being frayed right now. His mom and him are trying to rush me. I am agitated. Anyway, yeah I don't know. Did this make sense?  

Nice. And for some reason it let me post that on my account that my daughter obliterated haha. Don't mind me. 

Sounds like you are inbetween a rock and a hard place. You really need to take some time to clear your thoughts and decided what YOU want to do. Not him. Not your MIL and not your mother. Dont let anyone rush you into something you might later regret or resent them for. 

I know. It feels like his mom is harrassing me lol. But I know he had her thinking she might be flying out today so I can see where she might get pushy, but still. I have tried to work on things. He will not go to counseling, he doesn't really try. We have had a couple 'real' talks that seemd to go absolutely great until that night when he'd act like it never happened and go back to being his idiot self. 

I agree with whatevergirl. Take the time to think it over and don't let anyone push you one way or another. If he's pushing you to do it this weekend and you have had some major problems (I don't know whats going on for sure) then it would make me feel like he wanted me gone fast and for a reason. I dont know about anyone else but that would make me want to stay just to make sure I covered my tracks! Make sure you have all you t's crossed and i dotted girl! Your talking about your ability to take care of your children in the future! And that's my side(o8 

Sorry you are going through this. Maybe he can stay in the barracks while you wait & sort everything out til the first of next month? And it seems like getting everything down on paper will be the best way to go. It will save you in the long run. 

Let your MIL know you appreciate her concern. You are not completely decided right now and you need some time to think things through. Be assertive about what you need or how you are feeling. They dont know unless you tell them. Men are the most complicated creatures you'll ever come across. I, myself, even find it strange that they can be so alike meaning; two arms, two legs, head, toes, (you get my drift) and yet be so different when it comes to thinking. I hope things work out for you. Whichever why it is best for everyone. 

I wouldn't leave without a separation agreement. It protects both of you. If you do leave without one he can say that you abandoned him, and that works to his advantage if in fact your marriage ends in divorce. If you plan on possibly getting back together with him the future I would keep his command involved as little as possible. You don't want to stir the pot unless you are 100% commited to ending your marriage. Good Luck. I wish you the best in these tough times. 

Thanks everyone :] All Smiles, the only reason why I had a thought of getting his command involved is because he won't go to counseling, he doesn't really have anyone to talk to except for a couple friends which are...single. I was thinking if he talked to someone it might do him some good. Even if he hates me for it. Even if we end up divorcing, it might help him in the long run. 

I can understand that. You really know the situation best, and if you feel that it is worth that then do it. It's so easy for us on the outside, but we don't know what you know, and we haven't dealt with what you have...ya know. Seriously though just be strong for you and your kids. ((HUGS)) 

Maybe you can call his battalion chaplain and see what he says about getting the command involved. I'm pretty sure there's a confidentiality agreement where he can't say anything (within reason) to anyone without your consent. If he thinks counseling (with or without you) is in his best interest then he may contact his command and it may be more of a mandatory thing. 

Maybe you can call his battalion chaplain I may do that. I've decided i'm leaving no sooner than May 1st now though. Which is a huge relief. There was no way I was picking up and leaving this weekend. Ugh. I keep thinking there is something to salvage here, but he is giving me nothing. Poo. 

Maybe you can call his battalion chaplain I may do that. I've decided i'm leaving no sooner than May 1st now though. Which is a huge relief. There was no way I was picking up and leaving this weekend. Ugh. I keep thinking there is something to salvage here, but he is giving me nothing. Poo. my husbands chaplin is really nice and helps us out alot i dont know who ur hubbys with but my husbands was/is amazing and really has helped us through our rough times and now we are getting along sooo much better and hardly ever bicker 

He refuses to go to counseling either alone or with me, he would be so mad if I called anyone. He wants to keep it all a secret. Grr. 

The chaplain can say absolutely NOTHING to anyone under ANY circumstances. Even in the cases of homocide, suicide, child neglect, rape, sexual assault. They can only refer you to medical and that sends the red flag up. You can refuse medical treatment though. Then, the chaplain cannot say or do anything without your consent. Just so you know.... 

Now, I just don't know how to get ahold of that chaplain. Can I contact the FRO? I *think I have the right number. Blah. 

The FRO can give you the chaplain's phone number. And according to what I have read, you can take the children home with you without a separation come May 1st or whenever you decide to go home. You are both the parents. It may be easier to file the separation once you get home, due to court dates etc, if that is what you want to do. 

You have to deal with court dates with a seperation? Ewwww. We're not sure on the divorce. I just want to do the seperation thing to make sure he doesn't spend spend spend and leave his kids with nothing. I would think he wouldn't, but I don't know anymore. 

Can I contact the FRO? Lord have mercy, if you have a FRO like mine I would leave them out of it. I am so sorry you are going through this Mikayla :( It is hard when the other person just does not want to try. I have been there. I would definitely call base legal and get their information on separation papers. I think that you have to go in (no appointment necessary) on specific days at specific times. There is a recording when you call the number for legal that will tell you what you need to do. Also, I would try to go to legal here before your husband does or you will have to go somewhere else (conflict of interest). I agree with everyone else on this post that you should make decisions based on what is best for your children and yourself rather than what your husband or anyone else wants you to do. Good luck! If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime :) 

All I can say is I heart you Mikayla.... and Ian and Elizabeth too and if you need anything, let me know. I have an extra room if you want a few days away from him. 

With base legal, you have to go pick up the packet, both fill it out and then go in on certain mornings. They will not handle the separation if anything will be contested though. And, yes they will only represent one of you, meaning only one of you can file and that is who they talk to etc. Also, I am not sure, but from what I saw, at legal you pick up and fill out the whole divorce packet. Not sure if there is just separation, idk. And yes, there will be court dates because custody will have to be decided etc during the separation. If you are serious about the separation, I would also talk to his CO. It is in the legal manual how much he is required to give you while separated. 

Marine Corps order 15.001 

Marine Corps order 15.001  What is this? Where do you find out that stuff? lol Thanks everyone. Well shoot. I really hate that this is so frustrating. He's a good person until a friend texts him about drinking. Ha. Ugh. 

He's a good person until a friend texts him about drinking. Ha. Ugh. This is so hard, and sucks for you to be dealing with this. He still should be a big boy and be able to tell his friends no. He made the choice to be a married man and temptations should not overshadow his dedication to his family. I have seen so many of your posts on here, and I think you are just an adorable person. I hate that you are dealing with someone treating you this way.