So BIL is here living with us to unfcuk his life. He lives here rent-free and everything short of wiping his as$ is done for him. His only job is to go to work, pay off his tickets, get license reinstated, save up money to buy a car, and save money to send home for his 11-month old son. So he is currently working 2 jobs and got a portion of his tickets paid off. He was allotted $40 spending cash every paycheck and he was supposed to save the rest...come find out he started dipping into that money to buy junk food and crap everyday. Well he just got served paperwork for child support. He has to back-pay $3000 and pay $310 monthly now and the baby's mama has full custody. He is pissed off. Hubby is also pissed off. I, on the other hand, am not. I feel he OWES the money for his son because he has not given shlt to his kid since he was born. The whole time he's been here I've been telling him he can order things online and send it to his son if he doesn't trust her with the money...he never did anything. I agree with him not getting custody because I feel he's an un-fit parent. When he was back home he smoked himself stupid all day everyday, didn't have a job, and play video games at a friend's house all day. That is NOT a lifestyle for any baby....am I wrong here? Am I just a big meanie? 

You're completely right! 

am I wrong here? Of course not. 

you are absolutely right. my oldest 2 have a father..well a sperm donor just like that. worthless. damn right he owes the money. He helped make the kid he can help pay for it. 

you're right. don't feel bad. 

You are absolutely right, I am always amazed at how easy guys skate on child support when the mom is the sole custodian- its a damn hard job and IMO should be at 1k a month per child.... at least! You are totally in the right. 

A wise woman indeed! 

He made a baby and whether he has custody or not he has to help financially. And being that he was helping out the childs mother she had ever right to open a child support case against him so that it is paid. Now what will happen is the DA will garnish his funds straight from his paycheck if he doesn't send in the money direct every month. They can also place a lien on his bank account (if he has one) and he will not see his taxes refunds until the back pay is paif in full. I see nothing wrong with your point of view. As for your husband hummmm why is he mad? 

well hubby is saying the baby's mama is unfit too...maybe so cause she's a minor, just a dumb kid but that dumb kid has parents that have been taking care of this baby making sure he's fed, taken care of, and has everything he needs to grow up. So she may be unfit but her parents are not and her parents are all this kid has right now cause MIL wants nothing to do with any kids (only when it's convient for her)...which is why BIL is with us cause MIL didn't want him. 

I swear he sounds like my ex husband. He calls my kids maybe once ever 2 months, he sees them every 5 or 6 months depending on what's good for him. he's payed me maybe 3 months of child support in the last 13 months, BUT he lives with a woman and supports HER 3 kids and now THEY are having one. WTF? Deadbeat dads should have their balls cut off 

As for your husband hummmm why is he mad? That's baby brother...he feels responsible for all his siblings cause MIL is selfish and cares for nobody but herself. So since baby brother fcuked up, hubby feels he needs to un-fcuk this mess. I'm sure most of your hubbies are like that...if they can help they will do all in their powers to help. But I'm trying to make hubby see that he can GUIDE his brother on what he needs to do but he really needs to let his brother take care of this on his own or he'll never learn to take care of himself. Anytime he gets into anything he will learn to run to big brother...oh and BIL is 20 yrs old so he's grown enough to know what's goin on. 

Just so you know I'm very family with the whole child support & custody thing. I have a daughter from an ex and he pays a pretty penny in child support, a little over a grand a month and I have sole custody. Your BIL is only being asked to pay the state minimum. But if he ever get's a awesome paying job his ex can take him to court to increase the amount she receives for the child. He should be lucky it's the state min and not more. 

1000 bucks a month????????? My ex pays 100. for 2 kids. :( 

Your husband needs to give your BIL wings, cause if he doesn't the BIL will always be dependant on him in some way. My husband has 6 siblings and he has tried to help out at least one who was doing nothing with her life, BUT he gave up since she wasn't willing to straighten out, doesn't mean he doesn't love her, BUT you can only do so much 

But if he ever get's a awesome paying job Oh my goodness...I almost choked on my lunch...he's a loser. A loser in life and everything possible. He seems content being a loser which is another reason why I feel he's an unfit parent. 

doens't mean he doesn't love her, BUT you can only do so much I beat myself silly everyday and night trying to stress that to hubby. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. 

1000 bucks a month????????? My ex pays 100. for 2 kids. :( My ex is a plumber reason for so much. Michelle you have a right to request an increase in support at least once a year if not every 3. Both you and your ex will have to provide paystubs etc. Child support is deteremind on income and how much time the non-custodial spends with the child(ren) 

Mrs. Mamas you BIL sounds like he only cares for himself in life. I say castrate him...lol no more baby making machine 

My ex is a plumber reason for so much. Michelle you have a right to request an increase in support at least once a year if not every 3. Both you and your ex will have to provide paystubs etc. Child support is deteremind on income and how much time the non-custodial spends with child(ren) ha..if only my lousy good for nothing waste of oxygen ex spouse would keep a job long enough! He had over 19 jobs the 2 years we were married!!!!!!!! 

He needs to support that child period! My ex has YET to pay support for the 2 we have together. He is over 27K in arrears right now. And I have opened a case with the state, along with we are in the middle of a custody battle because I let him visit with them, and now he seems to think that HE is the better parent. So he is fighting for custody. I opened this case with DCSS 3 yrs ago, and I am still waiting to see a dime. I hate the system, it is not fair what ppl seem to get away with. 

we are in the middle of a custody battle because I let him visit with them, and now he seems to think that HE is the better parent. So he is fighting for custody. Anything to try to avoid having to pay He had over 19 jobs the 2 years we were married!!!!!!!! Dang!!! That say's a lot about the person 

It really bugged me that while he was here he kept going out to buy stupid frozen burritos and sodas and cookies...just junk food. When we have plenty to eat at home...I just don't buy much of "processed" crap that you microwave cause my kids are still little and I don't often feed them stuff like that. So instead of actually WORKING and making a meal he'd go out and buy stuff to eat...he could've been saving that money for his own kid. ANYTHING is better than nothing, ya know? And now look at the predicament he's in....I hate to say I told you so but...*mouth being zipped now* 

Quite honestly I think you and most people involved sound like you're being quite nice. I would've as a soon-to-be grandmother had a "Coming to Jesus" moment with the both as soon as I found out they were expecting. Right after the we would've marched right down to the nearest adoption agency. I believe they both just need to terminate their rights and let her parents raise the child.